Are You a Reactionary Talker in 2020

 They say’ is often a great liar.” ~ Proverb

Here's some food for thought for you. Are you a person who listens or a person who always talks?

Have you ever been telling a story that you heard from someone else and to your horror the person you are talking to was there and your story was found to be lies?

When you think you know something, realise you only know your part of the story.

When you take a backseat in life and sit in the background, watching and listening, you quickly learn that most people in life are ‘reactionary talkers’.


They don’t give a flying thought about what they are saying and fall into loads of little insecure traps that make them talk louder, faster and they constantly change the subject. Before you finish your part of the conversation, they are already talking about another subject that they want to talk about. When the reactionary talker is under pressure, they will do and say anything to get their point across. Usually tell lies to ignite fear. This is their natural defence system and gives them time to change the subject.


The gossipers are the worst for this because they have already judged the people they are talking about. They don’t give any consideration to what gossip can do to the victim of their inaccurate and embellished stories. In fact, I am not sure of the stats, but I would be ready to put a large wager on gossipers being the leading cause of teenage and adult suicide!


Gossipers are some of the the most evil destructive people in society. They keep secrets and make others keep secrets and manipulate their world into yours. The sad thing is that most of them don’t even know they are doing it. They are just talking in a manner that they have learned from someone else. However, all that being said, they are the culprit for unconsciously destroying lives, sometimes consciously, but with a smile and a ‘stab in the back’. If you are one of these people, I hope reading this changes everything about your life.


Reactionary Talking is dangerous. It shows weakness to those who are educated in it and causes irritation within a family, the workplace and in every community. People who engage in this style of talking all the time are not living their lives; They are living in the habits of their parents, family influence, political or religious views, and the community where they live or in a lot of cases have lived. 


I am sure a lot of you will know this but the word reactionary is a political word used when one is trying to uphold the progress and keep the old ways alive. In politics, they regard it as ‘an opponent of progress’. Basically, that means it's the politician arguing against anything just for argument's sake. An extreme conservative or liberalism. I’ll talk about this more in a minute but think about who you are and who your chosen close few are and work out whether you feel drained speaking with someone or empowered. Are you speaking about new ways to deal with life our whinging about how hard it is?


When talking like this, fast and without thought, we’re influenced by our environment and we don’t think for ourselves. It’s easier to just go with the flow of the most intriguing or manipulative person or story. Discussions are rare, with reactionary talkers and conversations flying all over the place. Before you know it, you are mocking the people you like just for a laugh.


To avoid being a Reactionary Talker, sit out of a few conversations and don’t always think you have to engage in everything that is going on. Realize that when you would typically butt in to start a conversation or want to raise a counter argument to something you feel means a lot to you. Nothing happens. The conversation goes on without you. Space doesn’t always need to be filled with words and some people’s points of view don’t always have to be brought down or encouraged. Let there be space for you to hear what is being said and observe the meaning and passions of your loved ones and colleagues. As someone who has been on one or two covert missions in my military career, I needed this knowledge to gather information. You learn more speaking less than you do being in everything all the time.


Watch the politicians on the TV or in Parliament if you can bare it. You’ll notice that they are speaking slowly, answering questions after a pause, to give them time to think and tread carefully before they answer. A good tactic is to take a drink of water while they compose themselves. They know only too well that reactionary talking does them no favours, and it’s rare for them to speak about something they have no knowledge in. What they do instead is spin the question around into something they know about and are actively campaigning for. I found this fascinating at school whilst studying politics, but as a grown man, I think it’s a disgusting form of manipulation and should be outlawed.

As a private security contractor I was the Head of Security for the Iraqi Government from 2004 to 06. At the time my teams mission was simple. Stop the Iraqi Government ministers and officials from being killed while they were serving their country. Thanks to my brothers who were with me, we did just that. No one died while we were protecting them inside the compounds of the government complex. I’ll write about that another time but for now lets keep on point. People talking over each other and not giving even a split second to hear what has been said and reacting with frustration and anger was one of my biggest challenges.

I could understand the pressure these officials were under and I could see that the culture of Iraq was aggressive in their way of talking. The only way I could succeed was to let them shout at me until they were tired, give them some space to recover and then explain, calmly, what was going on. Nine times out of ten they were told lies by their power hungry aides and bodyguards. I remember a time with Prime Minister Ayad Allawi where he shouted at me for five minutes, non stop, raging that my security procedures were making his life difficult. I couldn't have agreed with him more and it wasn’t because my procedures were making his personal life hard, it was because his bodyguards wanted the same authority as he did. 

I made all of them keep their weapons at the main gate and the only ones allowed were the US Navy Seals who were protecting the PM. his other security team did not have the same privilege so had their nose out of joint. They had been in the PM’s ear each day telling them how hard I was making it for the guards. So the PM was having a hard time with the stress. As you can imagine. Once he calmed down, I explained what was going on and that the solution to his stress was to order his guys to follow my regulations and everyone in the government would continue to be safe. Simple. My guys have the guns, no one else does. Everyone remains alive, no big battles of major international incidents.

The picture attached to this is with me and PM Allawi just after this incident. Happy Days! Everyone was safe, and the guards understood why the regulations were there. To keep us all safe.


During the growth of the new government when it was the Iraqi Governing Council I witnessed grown men, our grandfather’s age, scream at each other because they disagreed. There are many valid reasons why these men were so passionate and amped but before one could finish talking about one thing, they were onto another subject and arguing again.


Nothing ever got done in quick time and when there is a war all around you, getting things done quickly and efficiently is the way forward. Everything just seemed to go round in pointless circles. I thought back then that this must be because of the new leaders who were not politicians and they were trying their best. As the years past and I got to know the Coalition Ambassadors and Region Coordinators, I learned that this is the way of business.


It's been eleven years since I returned from Iraq and in those years I have studied world politics in the UK, Australia and USA mainly and am equally disgusted with the lies and deception of every politician in the world. I understand the complexities of wars and international relationships very well. I spent five years in Iraq trying my best to keep people alive working with all countries of the world.


Back at home, I have a Canadian wife; I am Scottish and all of our children are Australian. Although we are under the same Commonwealth banner, we are from different cultures and have our own ideas. Each one of us brings something new to the table and I for one, as a Dad am all ears for solutions to this crazy world. One thing we don’t do is shout over each other and dominate the conversation with one point of view. I teach my adult children and clients to be interested in other people's lives and hear their points of view. 


I am not saying that we all should sit at the back of the room and watch life go by and not be involved. I advise that from time to time, take a back seat in life and watch what’s going on around you. Take a moment to think about what you are saying and make sure it’s truthful. Rather than some opinionated ramblings from learned behaviours of the past, or TV or a YouTube video without doing some real research of your own.  Don’t speak, take a breath and compose yourself when you are at work, home or anywhere else. 


If you are in the pub, then it's a "free for all reactionary talking zone" and everyone for themselves!


That's a joke - not joke. There’s a time and place for everything. Be wise enough to know your behaviours as your own, or something you learned from someone you may know. We pick up echoes of those who we meet in life and sometimes they might not be appropriate for the world you are creating for yourself.


Define your character in 2020 by the personal standards that you set for your life.


Watch, and listen, you will learn about everything and everyone.


Keep Calm - War Is Brewing - Think Before You Speak - Your Lifestyle Depends On It


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Start 2020 off with getting your mind strong.






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